Fond and Loyal Friendship             

Fond & Loyal Friendship

June 2023

By Rich Patterson, Ph.D.

A Fond and Loyal Friendship leads us to lasting relationships!  A Fond & Loyal Friendship just makes life delightful.  How do you build those Fond & Loyal Friendships?  Seneca writes that “nothing delights the mind so much as fond and loyal friendship” (Seneca 49 AD).  A Fond & Loyal Friendship leads us to lasting relationships.  It is beautiful to have hearts that receive all your confidence and enigmas in coolness.  One with which you can share your deepest thoughts.  Someone who can calm you down and give you your center back.  One whose advice helps you to decide how to approach something, whose positiveness cheers you up when your heart needs lifting. Let’s look at, What is this friendship? What can it do for you?

This friendship is the rare kind that moves your soul to live to its full potential.  When we choose our friends for their character, we find wise men and women.  So, choose wisely, and listen closely to how they handle adversity, disappointment, joyfulness, success, and virtue. Everyone does not understand virtues well, so let’s look at them quickly.

Virtues are fragile at first but get stronger with resolve.  It is that decisiveness and certainty for conclusiveness that gives this quality its strength and determination.  Therefore, look deeper if your Fond and Loyal Friend first struggles with virtues.  Toward honesty, respectfulness, courageousness, forgiveness, and kindness.  Are they developing, or are they weak?  Do they need help understanding this level of character?  They are on the right track if they do the right thing and do not give in to impulses, urges, or desires.  Developing an eye for virtues takes time, but you will catch on quickly.  Here are some tips to consider.

How can you develop this Fond and Loyal Friendship

Even if you see a weakness here, watch if they develop over time and become significant concepts that shape their behavior.  If they do, you have the excellent ingredients for a Fond and Loyal Friendship towards which you can contribute and receive clarification.

Why pursue virtue?  It is simple, integrity and good character align with joy, which makes for better relationships (Austin 2015).  Think about your friends today.  Then sort them quickly in your mind placing the ones with the most virtues first.  Examine those top friends and notice their relationships with others.  The more virtues we have, the more effective we are and the more profound our relationships.  Here is a list of virtues worth considering:

Virtues-Fond and Loyal Friendship

(McCarthy 2018)

Fond & Loyal Friendship

McCarthy lists forty virtues worth exploring; I have listed only a few here.  Virtues like being honorable, courageous, and truthful will only build our relationships.  Relationships that struggle are clouded by selfishness, greed, heartlessness, and insensitivity.  Pursuit toward virtues will strengthen and heal wounds from the past.  Forgiveness is one example that can draw people together who are otherwise estranged and distant, often making them good friends. Kindness is a great place to begin.

Simple kindness will begin the process of building a Fond and Loyal Friendship.  I hope you agree that practicing virtues in our life leads to happiness, the ultimate goal of human existence. Becoming the best version of yourself.  What does your best version of yourself look like?

Aristotle (Aristotle 2003) says that “When we live virtuously, we reach our full potential as human beings and become the best versions of ourselves.”  This is what brings us true happiness.  Isn’t that it?  Becoming the best version of ourselves.  What a worthy goal to pursue in one’s lifetime.  We are aiming, hitting the target, falling short, being off course, failing, failing again, and seeking repeatedly.

Here is the key: This virtuosity builds healthy, beautiful relationships with other people.  Those relationships built on virtuous qualities will last.  So, get out there and find those individuals with these traits, rise to them, and make those same qualities for yourself and others.  When looking for a Fond and Loyal Friendship, look for virtues to build something lasting and strong.

For other posts on friendship by the author, please click this link:  https://www.pattersonphd.com/friendship-making-skills/ ‎

I would also recommend Suzanne Degges-White Ph.D.  article in Psychology Today: The 13 Essential Traits of Good Friends | Psychology Today

Rich Patterson, Ph.D.

June 2023